August92014

pruderanch:

200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

(Source: religiousmom, via pizza)

1AM

randy-gets-swole:

paragonikathryn:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

This is genius

Duuuude

1AM

ven0moth:

who the hell came up with dodgeball???? what kind of sadistic asshole was like “i wanna see kids low key inflict pain on eachother so im gonna have them throw balls at eachother and call it a sport” bye

(via j5h)

August82014

miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

(Source: kristyskrushers, via pizza)

12PM
cheeseyturtlelove:

The sound I made was inhuman.

cheeseyturtlelove:

The sound I made was inhuman.

(via pizza)

12PM

kateordie:

cosplayingwhileblack:

X

Character: Black! Sailor Moon

Series: Sailor Moon/ Art by Horrorkissen

Amazing! Aaah!

Can I just say that the detail and effort she put into her costume is amazing. Props to her, her sewing skills, and just being awesome enough to cosplay Sailor Moon

4AM

heartbeatofatimelord:

physcoaustin:

tardisol:

IF YOU HAD ROOM WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN IT AND THE WALLS CEILING AND FLOOR WERE MADE OF MIRROR WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE IN THE MIRRORS

No.

Holy shit I asked my dad who’s a physics teacher and he just looked at me, looked at the table, looked at me, tried not to smile, looked angry, and started to look up where you can buy big mirrors.

(Source: teenytomlin, via pizza)

4AM

powerpuff-save-the-day:

SHOTS FIRED

(via wilwheaton)

2AM

releasethemurderbirds:

releasethemurderbirds:

My brother decided to use my bathroom and that was fine, but five minutes later I hear singing and he’s singing to the tune of “What’s This” for the Nightmare Before Christmas about various products I keep in the bathroom.

“What’s this, what’s this?

There’s products everywhere.

What’s this?

I think it goes in hair.”

(via mmmae-zing)

August62014
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